The Math of Programming
The complexity of a project is usually governed by the following relationship:
E ={mc^2}/{t}
Where E is the effort required, m is the number of meetings, c is the amount of caffeine consumed, and t is the time remaining before the deadline.

The Programmer’s Wife:

She says: “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns with 12 loaves of bread.

A Few Classics
The Definition of an Optimist: A programmer who creates a “To-Do” list and expects to finish it.

The Hardware Rule: If you have to force it, it will break. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.